Shupe Shire

Christmas Eve Beauty

2011-12-24T20:23:00.001-05:00

May God bless your families this Christmas with true hope - Christ abiding in us!

We went for a little beauty drive this morning. Enoch is sick and the ride helped him fall asleep. Here are a few shots from around the Shire this Christmas Eve. God's creation and some farm shots. The guys have been cleaning like crazy!

Our small pasture at home - some dry cows and a wee bit of snow.

This cat reminded me of the story Moses the Kitten. Such a great story we've enjoyed this year.

What 4-Year Olds Like

2011-12-23T22:37:00.002-05:00

Mariam (almost 4) and Abraham took some pictures at church after the Christmas Program. Love those little ones:).

What a precious bunch. (Mama took this one).

Bye Bye, Uncle Aaron. We miss your silly self!

Happy Birthday, Enoch!!!

2011-12-14T14:31:00.000-05:00

A few pictures of the little Gaffers we love so much!! We thank God he gave us you, Enoch Jonathan Liddell Shupe!

Africa

2011-12-12T10:03:00.003-05:00

Abraham and I watched this old video today and it made us smile! Daddy, Micah, Abraham and a couple puppies. Little guy was about 15 months old in West Africa. Hard to believe Enoch will soon be that old. Good memories. I love this stage of toddling, exploring and beginning talk.

Soybeans

2011-11-06T08:12:00.000-05:00

Chaff. I think of this word often when Jonathan is running the combine. Lord, keep us in you. May we abide in you and never be chaff.

Some of the happy crew, harvesting this year's soybeans. First time ever that the Farm's grown soybeans. Daddy, Uncle David, Abraham and Grandpa Lang all out to bring in the harvest.

Murmuration

2011-11-05T18:37:00.002-04:00

This is too beautiful not to share. Found the link over on A Holy Experience. God's ways are so crazy beautiful.

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

And I used to think starlings were ugly...

A Blue Bundle

2011-10-31T18:50:00.000-04:00

Daniel Thomas Shupe

Born late in the evening of Sunday, October 30
to David & Nicole, and big sisters Mariam & Julia

7lb 6oz, 20 1/2in

Welcome precious nephew and cousin. So delighted to meet you!!

Aunt Nicole and her 3rd precious bundle

Some very happy critters meeting their new friend...

A Dear Friend

2011-10-24T07:01:00.002-04:00

Please pray for the family of Merlin Yoder. His family said good-bye to him last night after long hours of waiting to see if his body would respond from the injuries he received after being caught in his combine Friday.

We'll miss this dear man of God tremendously. One who needed to study, learn, grow in Christ always. A man who would read books while setting his tractor on auto-steer. A man of integrity and compassion, locally and globally. A man whose love for his wife just bubbled out of him. A man who did not waste his life. We love you and miss you, Merlin. So glad you are with Jesus.

Quiz Time

2011-10-18T12:37:00.003-04:00

Quiz Time...Who can name this beauty we found at the grocery store yesterday??? :)

Like a little mountain of green trees...I love it. God makes beautiful things!

Things I Fall For

2011-10-12T19:32:00.000-04:00

This picture does nothing to show the grandeur of what's been happening around the farm lately in the evening. Hundreds and hundreds of geese have been spending their nights on the Irrigation Pond (just north of "The Tunnel"). Each evening they circle around preparing to land. This is a shot of them circling over the farm ( 1/4 mile South of the Pond). Grandma Shupe, Abraham, Enoch and I watched them land the other night. What a beautiful sound. A Canada Goose Symphony to God! They praise Him too. Don't believe me? You need to watch this video by Louis Giglio from the Desiring God conference that Jonathan, Aaron and good friend Blake attended. Oh, it is sooo good...please watch at least through the middle - the whales and the stars...

And here is Daddy tickling Enoch

Some corn silage in action. Love that Tractor Driver...

Favorite lil' farmers

Silly Mama, Silly Enoch

Silage by Night

Corn Silage

2011-10-10T11:32:00.000-04:00

Chopping corn silage at Janowiak's last week. In case you didn't realize, farms around here are referred to by the landowner (Uncle Jim!) or previous landowner way-back-when's last name.

The happy Jr. Crew watching and cheering on. Isn't this sweet? Ah, brothers...

Argh, BROTHERS!! ;)

Happiness momentarily restored so Mama could take some more pictures, until. . . argh, DADDY! Can you spot how Jonathan decided to have some fun? May the silage be with you. ;)

Just for Fun

2011-10-03T15:23:00.000-04:00

Enoch: Um, Mom, I don't think this really fits me.
Mom: I just got it at the Mom-2-Mom Sale. You will wear it at least once!

Children's Music

2011-10-02T16:45:00.001-04:00

This is such a great children's cd. For whatever reason I'm not a big fan of a lot of children's cds. I think I get annoyed too easily by them. Am I alone in this? Anyways, this one is is stellar.

We picked it up at the Desiring God conference in Minneapolis last weekend. All the songs are based from Proverbs. Excellent lyrics pointing children to God.

Walking With the Wise

Airshow

2011-09-09T16:49:00.001-04:00

We've been in for a real treat the last few days...our very own airshow. :) Our farmer neighbors have had all their area fields cover-cropped with oat seed by air. The airplane has been filling up with seed directly across from our house. Rumble, rumble! Many landings and take-offs watched, felt, and heard. What a treasure.

Summer

2011-09-04T22:35:00.000-04:00

How do you jump back into blogging after over two months? Here's a feeble attempt...

I always think of canning/preserving as a summer long ordeal. It's not. It's all about August! Peaches, green beans, sweet corn and tomato sauce done. Tougher this year with 2 lads around for sure. Thanks to my hubby for his encouragement.

Abraham and Enoch are a joy to watch together. They both love each other a bunch and are so happy to see each other when they wake up. They both enjoy Dad and Mom's room still. We like having them near and realize this time won't last much longer.

The guys on the farm are happy to have the irrigation set-up up and running after much labor to lay the pipe required for it. A long summer in the trenches...literally.

Grandpa and Grandma Shupe celebrated 40 years of marriage this summer and Grandma and Grandpa Lang 41 years. We are blessed to have such faithfulness surrounding us in marriage.

Uncle Andrew has left and moved to New Zealand for a year. We miss him and are grateful for Skype to talk with our Kiwi friend.

We still live in Michigan;) and that means we live near water. Celebrating Auntie Arin's birthday at the Lake is the last picture.

And now to figure out how to go back to the old blogger layout - this one is confusing me too much!:) If anybody out there still reads this - thanks:). Don't give up on us.

Ten Years

2011-06-23T08:31:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary, my Hunka-Hunka-Burnin'-Love:). I love you and thank God that He gave me a faithful, passionate, cowyboy, kind, Jesus-lovin' man.

Anybody out there recognize any of these fellas:)?

Happy 6 months, Enoch!

2011-06-14T08:09:00.000-04:00

Where, oh where, does half a year go??

We love this smiley lil' boy so much!! Here's a few facts about Enoch Jonathan Liddell Shupe!

He loves being outside. His feet kick and twirl when Daddy comes home. He laughs mostly for his big brother. A-boof is one of his curent happy little words. He wakes up happy. Cabin intrigues him. God's blessed us with many answered prayers regarding his growth (and life!). Red is a favorite color and we see a little of it when the sun shines on his hair. He has Daddy's eyes. Sitting up is going pretty well. He tilts his head sideways with his shy grin. He's absolutely kissable.

One Thousand Gifts

2011-06-07T17:02:00.000-04:00

This spring I started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. See the blessing. Thank God for the hard things. Thank God when I don't feel thankful. Ingratitude is a sin. These are a few insights I have gleaned from the book that are simply life-changing. A passage I reread today follows:

Is this what the life experts know?

That in Christ, urgent means slow.

That in Christ, the most urgent necessitates a slow and steady reverance.

For a moment, longer, I hold son - and life - and I hold it mindfully . . . attentively . . . thankfully. Life at its fullest is this sensitive, detonating sphere, and it can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried and reverential - a bubble held in awe. (pg 74)

Ann Voskamp's words have challenged and encouraged our family the last couple years at A Holy Experience. The words of her book are beautiful as well. A call for grace - everywhere to see grace and share grace.

These words that she shared while thinking back on a moment of family tension struck me:

I pull out a chair from the table, sink down. The sunflower heads have turned low. The Tall-Son is chewing his toast too loud at the other end of the table. What compels me to name these moments upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why deprive myself of joy's oxygen? The swiftness and starkness of the answer startle. Because you believe in the power of the pit.

Really? I lay my head on the table. Do I really smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan's way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus' way? Why else get angry? Isn't it because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment will pound me up into the full life I really want? When I choose - and it is a choice - to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness? Choosing the angry way of Lucifer because I think it is more effective - more expedient - than giving thanks?

Blasphemer. . .

If there are wolves in the woods - expect to see wolves; and if there is God in this place - expect to see God.

Can I be so audacious? To expect to see God in these faces when I am the blashpemer who complains, who doesn't acknowledge this moment for Who it is? (pg 125-126)

One thought I've chewed on much from Voskamp is that one cannot feel two opposing emotions at the same time. If I'm feeling pissy and annoyed, let me tell you from recent personal experience, the idea of thanking God comes pretty hard. It's a bit of a slap in the face. A needed reality slap in my moments of frustration. Abraham is such a help for me in this. Lately he's taken to playing the "I'm Thankful Game," from My ABC Bible Verses. Slowly I'll feel my anger dissolve as we play. Truly, a holy solution.

Jonathan and I are always curious for good book recommendations. So, tis hard for us to not share when we've read one! :) I'll leave you with one last thought from the book to ponder . . . enjoy!

Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism. . . To lack faith perhaps isn't as much an intellectual disbelief in the existence of God as fear and distrust that there is a good God. (pg 148)

Tunnel Pics

2011-05-26T05:36:00.003-04:00

Good Ole Tiny, one of the last through...

If You Can't Go Over...

2011-05-25T11:27:00.066-04:00

Build a cow tube:). We've anticipated the first pass through The Tunnel all spring. Yesterday we got a call to come on over and watch. Yoohoo!! Who needs YouTube when you've got a Cow Tube, baby!

Click above to see Part 1 of the latest Shupe Dairy adventures.

Part 2. Reality tv at its finest:).

Part 3. Hallelujah!

Way to go guys! The Dairy has beautiful grass to graze right next to the farm, only across a road. Due to some complications, crossing the road did not seem to be a peaceful option. So, my favorite farmers researched and researched and worked and worked and now these fine cows have their very own tunnel. How grand is that! Much work still to be done, but a beautiful first pass through it was yesterday. The guys had some great helpers, too. Thanks Grandpas Shupe and Lang and Benjamin and SDI employees!

Spring Joys

2011-05-21T22:51:00.000-04:00

Lil' Shupes

2011-05-17T05:08:00.000-04:00

Abraham, Enoch, Elianah, Selah, Luella, Mariam, Julia

The girls were doing the motions to "This Little Light of Mine" while Aunt Arin tried to help them smile and look for the camera. What a precious bunch. Love em!

Farm Construction

2011-05-15T21:57:00.000-04:00

The men are always thinking of something new around these parts...

This spring one project has been setting up a grain bin next to the parlor so the "ladies" can dine while they milk. Classy.

The spectators, quite focused on the construction...

Or...

Tickled to all be sitting on their Uncle's car and using it for a slide (just once Uncle Aaron!)

Don't (please) try this at home...

Definitely not this either...

Change in seating, this one a little messier...

I'll leave you with a little suspense!

32 Days, 32 Bags

2011-03-23T17:35:00.000-04:00

So, I know I'm a little behind, but really it's the heart that matters, right! I really want to do this. Thank you to Clover Lane for the inspiration.

Basically it's the idea of removing one bag of stuff from your home each day during the season of Lent. To me this will be very freeing. I get stressed out by stuff. Stuff clutters my view of my family and most importantly Christ.

So, I'm gonna share my attempts with the blog world so I have a little accountability. My hubby thinks I'm a bit off and that our house will be empty. :) But he's supportive, so off I go starting today to DECLUTTER = yea!!!

Christian Parenting Day 2011

2011-03-23T16:56:00.000-04:00

Save the date. Better yet, come and we'll give you free lodging;)!
Christian Parenting Day
Keynote: Tedd Tripp
April 16, 2011

Little Enoch

2011-03-14T02:37:00.003-04:00

I've been wanting to do this for a crazy long time, and I finally just sat down to remember a bit. This week I'd like to give thanks for sweet little Enoch coming into our lives. Thank you, God for:
479. No colic!
480. ruddy, soft furry baby shoulders
481. kissable cheeks

482. wool sleepers

483. soft newborn hair

484. Grandma's quilts
485. fleece snuggly outfits

486. wet baby curls

487. knitted gifts in the mail
488. sweet, peaceful baby sleep

489. little baby faces, beginnings of smiles

490. loving older brother, passionate one

491. calm...ahhh

492. happy smiles
493. stronger eyes finding people farther away

494. love those cheeks

495. God answering prayers with a double chin!;)

496. that a baby knows his Mama

497. our boys in stripes
498. contagious happy baby grins
499. relief from congestion
500. curly eyelashes
501. coos and baby talk
502. waking up happy
503. baby colds, rashes, innumerable wet diapers, housework not done - for you are in these things, too, Lord!
504. joy

Click on the banner below to join with others thanking God in the Gratitude Community...

Collision

2011-03-09T15:22:00.003-05:00

This Sunday our church is showing the film Collision. It's a documentary on a series of debates between an atheist and a Christian. Really well done. Here's a trailer for the film. Should be a great night of discussion. Care to join us? 6pm at Pigeon River!

Nursing, Nursing

2011-03-06T16:01:00.001-05:00

I've been reading a very interesting article on nursing (breastfeeding) to keep up my nursing (RN) license. I have to finish up ed credits by the end of the month to renew my license, so why not read about the milk business, eh!;)

By God's grace I've exclusively breastfed our two sons, the first with major challenges, the second going smoothly overall. Naturally, this is a subject I'm very interested in. Some of this research I had already read about when I was scouring the web for help during Abraham's nursing days. Some is new. I thought I'd pass along some of the most interesting info for those interested in learning along with me. Hope this might be fascinating to some other odd parent, too:).

Please note I think there are wise times to use formula (ABM). I think it is sad how over-promoted it is in our country though. My mom and mother-in-law have both talked about how little encouragement there was to breastfeed when they had their babies. It's unfathomable to me how in just a couple generations such a beautiful thing as feeding a little one has become socially uncomfortable and a lost art.

Information and quotes from Breastfeeding, a course by Marie Davis, RN at NetCE.com. Information free to read to all.

Breastfeeding rates have historically dropped in periods of social dazzle and lowered moral standards. However, in times when the society has been stable and hard working, breastfeeding has thrived [1] .

Over half of the women giving birth today either were not breastfed themselves or were breastfed for only a few weeks or months, often with supplementation beginning at birth. For the last 80 to 90 years, women have been ABM feeding in such great numbers that much of the valuable information once possessed has been (temporarily) lost. During the lifetimes of our mothers and grandmothers--due mostly to profound social changes, but also to smart marketing--bottle feeding became the norm.

Following World War II, when artificial feeding became a viable option, the cultural context of a woman's breasts began to shift from functional to purely sexual.

Research has indicated that women who were educated regarding the risks of not breastfeeding were more likely to commit to breastfeeding compared to women who were only given information regarding the benefits of breastfeeding [242] . Therefore, it is vital that healthcare professionals include information regarding the risks and disadvantages of ABM in addition to the benefits of breastfeeding when counseling mothers.

It is a common misconception that the baby gets nothing when nursing in the first day or two. Although the baby will get only a small amount of colostrum at each feeding, this amount matches what the baby's stomach (about the size of a marble at birth) is able to hold.
No two samples of breast milk are the same, even when taken from the same mother.

Fresh breast milk is a living fluid composed of more than 200 known ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, trace elements, protein, fat, and carbohydrates. It contains 4,000 live cells (mostly leukocytes) per milliliter, which cannot be replaced by artificial feeding.

The components of breastmilk are richer when a baby is preterm. This blows my mind. God designs us to protect the littlest ones in ways we don't even realize - how amazing!

Fat and lipids per deciliter increase as a baby ages. A wonder evolution could never explain...God's beautiful design.

Even the smallest amounts of colostrum should be saved for the baby. Nurses should try to feed breast milk to the baby in the order that it was pumped to assist in the development of the infant gut. (In reference to preterm babies)

All major medical societies in the U.S., including the AAP, have recommended breastfeeding for as long as possible in infancy in order to improve childhood survival rates. The World Health Organization (WHO) and United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) guidelines have recommended extending breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years.

The potential healthcare cost savings from breastfeeding in four medical diagnoses were analyzed. Results showed the following potential savings in healthcare costs:
Sudden infant death syndrome: $4.7 billion
Necrotizing entercolitis: $2.6 billion
Lower respiratory tract infection: $1.8 billion
Otitis media: $908 million
A total of almost $13 billion in potential savings of healthcare dollars is estimated if 90% of parents exclusively breastfed for 6 months.

Known risks associated with ABM (artificial breast milk) include [1,3,60,62,63] :
Increased gastrointestinal illness (vomiting, diarrhea, and dehydration)
Increased respiratory illnesses (pneumonia, asthma, and respiratory syncytial virus)
Otitis media (four times more prevalent in the ABM-fed infant)
Increased likelihood of childhood obesity
Increased risk of tooth decay (nursing bottle caries)
Risk of contaminated formula (either at the factory or at home) and ingestion of "allowable" amounts of insect parts, rat hairs, droppings, iron filings, and accidental excesses of chlorine and aluminum
Severe illness resulting from improper dilution or home additives
Increased allergies ranging from skin rashes to asthma
Increased risk of immune system disorders, such as:
- Accelerates the development of celiac disease
- Risk factor in adult onset of Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, and rheumatoid arthritis
- Risk factor (2% to 26%) in childhood onset insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus
- Five- to eightfold risk of developing lymphomas in children younger than 15 years of age
- May impair effectiveness of vaccines
- Twentyfold increase in necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC)
Increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)

Half of the mothers who initiate breastfeeding prematurely wean within a few days or weeks due to preventable or treatable difficulties.

Because of deep emotional connections, breastfeeding is an emotionally charged issue for healthcare providers. It has been noted that "physicians and nurses are notoriously eager to provide advice, even if their knowledge of, or experience with, the subject is limited" [3] .

Dairymen and Snow

2011-02-02T20:23:00.000-05:00

I'm reminded today of how hard my husband works. The only two vehicles down our road during the day today besides snowmobiles and a 4-wheeler were our neighbor in his snowplow and my sweet hubby leaving this morning in a tractor.

Conference call from the conference room;).

Can you find the road?

Or the driveway??

Better go...just saw the tractor returning after a 16 hour blizzardy day. Have you hugged a dairyman today?:)

Cold Thanks

2011-01-24T07:17:00.000-05:00

Thank you Creator God, for all of these gifts...

462 brothers in Africa
463 birthday cards for cheetahs
464 little baby long grunts and stretches
465 piling in a tractor together to ride with Daddy

466 challenging questions in sermons...What about my life invites others to worship Jesus?
467 spontaneous thank yous for slippers
468 natural light

469 steam suspended in cold air from the sugar beet factory miles and towns away
470 housework
471 able bodies

472 new friends
473 curious words
474 -13 degrees and a warm house
475 the cross
476 progress

477 pigs and bales in sink, again

478 first tractor ride

Click on the banner below to join with others thanking God in the Gratitude Community...

The Boys

2011-01-19T22:49:00.000-05:00

How fun it is to say the boys...:). What a blessing to watch these two little ones grow.

Quick post so friends and family know we're still kickin' around here!

God's Kindness to Us, A Birth Story

2010-12-28T16:42:00.001-05:00

Seven days ago God allowed us to bring home from the hospital a precious gift. One little boy, warm snuggly ball in our arms, alive and breathing and feeding and soft and tender and free from the grasp of a devastating disease.

God hid us in the shadow of His wings when we could not see ahead, felt as though we could barely breathe, longed to feel Him near. His shadow carried us through. His Word around us, prayers encircling us. He was enough. He is enough. In His shadow we could not see beyond and we needed not. Oh, my worries and anxious heart pawed to get out, time and again. But the more we listened to His word, were uplifted in prayer, the more surrender we felt. It is said Eric Liddell's last words before dying in a Chinese internment camp were, "It's complete surrender." Enoch Jonathan Liddell Shupe . . . we had only decided on his middle name seven days earlier.

Seven days earlier, on December 14, our baby was born. A day we will never forget...want never to forget...need never to forget and need to proclaim!

We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.

...that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments...

Psalm 78:4. 6-7

And so we with feeble and humble words long to share with all, the kindness of God to us this Christmas season. We celebrate Christ first coming to us, and we celebrate even more Christ now with us. God dwells with us, the lowly, the uncertain, the fearful, the doubting, the proud, the hurting. Oh blessed thought, He leadeth me . . . even me.

Last Monday - the snow drifts thick in our yard, the wind howls, and squalls of white surround our house throughout the day. My phone rings mid-morning. My beloved is stuck in the middle of the road with a four-wheel drive pick-up with mud tires waiting for a dear brother to come pull him out. "Seriously, you should see this drift. It must be three hundred feet long down the road."

My mind cannot even picture this. Perhaps it's clouded, grateful we made it through the night still with power. Grateful baby didn't come Sunday night, my due date. The weather horrible, the timing just not seeming right.

"Not sure if they're contractions or not, but I've been feeling some tightness in my back and front and a little crampy this morning," I respond to Jonathan. I ask what time he might be home for lunch, and he's not sure he'll be able to get home. Brrr, sweet husband! He works so hard.

Abraham and I carry on with our day, cleaning house, washing screens...wondering, "could I be nesting? Is this really it?"

By evening I'm tiptoe-ing across house and rocking back and forth at counter and trying doing Bradley method pelvic rocks through these moments of tightness. I call Jonathan back. "Um, I think something really might be going on here..."

"Huh, really?"

I'm still too uncertain to call it out, not wanting to tell my husband I'm in labor unless I'm really, really sure I am. I listen to the story of his day...

Stuck 3 times in the middle of roads with a 4-wheel drive pick-up
cattle out 3 times (once can be exhausting)
cattle found 1.5 miles down the road at one point
hours of running chasing cattle
wind and snow feeling like a continual facewash
hauling feed, a 45 minute-1 hour job has taken over 10 hours
came upon a car stuck in road 3 feet up on a snow bank
driving through snow alley next to the car so tight pick-up rubbed on both sides
three times snow up under hood, knocking fan belt off each time

I also know the unsaid of his day, how this dairyman has been up since 0430 as usual. Today with just a small breakfast and no lunch. Later he tells me this was his hardest day of work in probably a couple of years. This man, my man, my coach for this whole thing called labor...could this really be happening? My heart sinks at how exhausted he must be. How is this ever going to work?

Between 8 and 9pm Abraham and I watch Uncle David plow out our driveway with the neighbor's huge loader. Thank you, Lord. I'm dancing around the counter every 3 minutes now and have been for quite awhile as Abraham waves outside. We call Daddy to see if maybe it's him in the loader? It's 2115 or 9:15pm and I tell him what my heart is fearing..."Um, I'm having a real hard time relaxing."

His response is brief, he sounds exhausted and still unsure when he'll get home. I try to pack up a few last minute things. I'm feeling like I can't do this.

Thirty minutes later J gets home. He looks at me and knows. I'm tearful. "Angela, you've got to relax."

I know this. It is one of the two key things our Bradley teacher worked on us with. Hadn't she said, "you guys need to be practicing relaxing every day..." We both know we've failed at this part of the preparation.

My fears spill out. "Jonathan you're so tired, how is this possibly going to work?"

Sweet husband rebukes this fear and replaces it with strength. He will be there for me and God will carry us through this. The joy of the Lord is our strength. He will not give us more than we can handle.

A quick shower, then Jonathan takes Abraham to bed while I try to take a shower to relax. I try a heating pad, laying down, abdominal breathing, walking, sitting...after about an hour I wake Jonathan up. "I need help, babe."

And oh the next hours. Pain. Yes. Intense. Oh yes. My coach? Awesome. God's peace? Surrounds us. My fears of Jonathan being too exhausted to coach me are completely gone.

We keep the house dimly lit. Contractions continue to be less than 3 minutes apart. We aren't timing them, they just are close together. I call close friends and ask them to pray. So blessed to know their care and response.

Jonathan tries a paint roller on my back, dry and fluffy of course:). It helps briefly. We try our relaxation techniques. Laying on my side is not working like it did during pregnancy! I try sitting back, and the pressure on my tailbone is tremendous. I thought something was supposed to be comfortable...oh dear.

Jonathan works patiently over and over again to help me let go during the contractions. Leaning onto him become one of my best labor positions.

Time goes by and I'm beginning to feel like I can't handle much more of the pain. He reminds me pain is good. Contractions bring the baby out. I sound silly but say whatever I can outloud. "I don't want to have an epidural. I want to see this baby. I want to have this baby naturally. I don't want to have a C-section."

Jonathan tells me later this is where I started saying crazy things to him:). For some reason saying it and having J reaffirm this is encouraging.

I pray over and over again for courage. And then for mercy. Oh the pain is so much. And when I think how could I do this for hours and hours more, I begin to feel sweaty and my legs tremor. Could this really be transition? Again, I'm afraid to say anything to Jonathan...to call it out. What if I'm wrong?

And then J hears me groan. I actually feel the urge to push. Secretly I am thrilled. I never felt this with Abraham. Jonathan is concerned. He asks me multiple times over the next few contractions, "Do you feel like you want to push or you have to push?" He remembers how I pushed without the urge with Abraham and wore out after a couple hours.

I honestly don't get it and logic has never been my strength. No answer from me for a few minutes until I finally say, "both!"

Jonathan takes a deep breath, "well I guess we're committed now." :) The normally 1 hour now 2 hour if passable drive to our hospital had been a question on our minds. We weren't sure how we'd even get there with the speed and intensity of my contractions and the snowstorm. We had prayed for direction and over and over God's peace surrounded us at home. Home and Jonathan delivering this little one felt absolutely right, a crazy long and uncertain drive to the hospital seemed out of the question.

And so after squatting and pushing through those early morning hours we were blessed to meet our sweet baby for the first time in his home, his Daddy telling me it's a boy, and his Mama scooping his precious body up into her arms. Words cannot describe what an amazing experience his birth was. Overwhelmingly we experienced God's kindness, mercy, direction and peace. Thank you friends who prayed. Over and over God answered prayers. . . from Abraham staying asleep through the delivery to the afterbirth coming 5 seconds after praying, after hours of waiting. We look back on the last two weeks and breathe deep, feeling His kindness and mercy in all that has passed over us.

My man, my awesome coach, holding his new little boy

Out of order

2010-12-21T21:06:00.003-05:00

Monday 3:13 pm
My phone rings-
Hmmm this number looks familiar. Why... "Hello, This is Jonathan."

"Hello, is this Jonathan."
-A voice, strange, asks me.

"Yeh. How can I help you?"
-I have figured out why the number was familiar as I listen close.

The voice continues filled with urgency. "Hello, this is your child's pediatrician. I tried to get a hold of Angela but she didn't answer the phone. Can you get ahold of her, and can you have her call me."

-They were going to nap when I left after lunch.
"Yeh, um sure. She's probably taking a nap with the boys."

-The calm urgency continues "Ok, maybe a different ring will wake her, she needs to call me back right away. There are some results that came back from Enoch's blood work that show he has a metabolic abnormality."

What is that supposed to mean?
"Ok, I will have her call you right away."

"Thanks."

"Thanks."

My mind begins racing with everything I have ever read and remembered and things I didn't know I had remembered, and probably lots of things I have never read or learned.... Angela I need to call Angela. I call her 5 times in 4 minutes and begin walking to a pickup to drive home to talk to her when she answers
"Hey, sorry I didn't pick up. Dana is here with a meal (an incredible thing families in our church do for "fresh" mothers)."
I tell her what I have just heard.
Ten minutes later she calls back. "Can you come home?" Serious sadness is in her tone. "The Doctor says he has Maple Syrup Urine Disease."
"Yep." Not the time for being conversational.
I talk to my brother David, tell him I must go, not knowing when I will return. He jokes that it is a good thing I don't do anything on the farm anyway. I chuckle and agree but then he disagrees with himself and I go.

I drive home...my mind rolling; Maple Syrup Urine Disease, the only disease I could remember from the sheet telling of the rare diseases for which Enoch had been tested. Why was that the only disease I could have told you was on that paper...?
I walk into the house Dana and her kids are playing with Abraham; he loves them dearly. I continue on to the bed room to overhear the end of a conversation my precious wife is having with Lisa, a nurse with the Genetics department at the lead Children's Hospital in the state. It is hours from our house.
Lisa- "You need to get here as quickly as possible, don't drive recklessly but you need to get here as quickly as possible. How soon can you leave?"
Angela-"Within 15 minutes."
"Good. Now, when you get here you need to go immediately to the Emergency Room. Park at the parking right at the door and walk in.

If they don't see you immediately, here is a pager number. If they won't see you immediately you call this pager and someone will be there to make sure you are seen immediately. You are an ER nurse correct?"
"I was until I had our first child."
"You understand what I have told you then. Right?"
"Yes."
Lisa proceeds to give her directions and tells her she will email them also immediately along with other info for us before we leave. However, at this point my brain stops taking in dual information as I have also been skimming a MedlinePlus page Angela had up on our laptop lying on our bed. Shockwaves begin jumping out at me from the page:

Persons with this condition cannot break down the branched-chain amino acids leucine, isoleucine, and valine. This leads to a buildup of these in the blood.
MSUD can cause damage to the brain. Even in the mildest form...can cause mental retardation.
Unwelcome images start bombarding my brain but I read on...
SYMPTOMS
avoiding food
feeding difficulties
lethargy
A knot is starting in the pit of my stomach, the Enemy is loving the fear building in me. I begin replaying conversations Angela and I have had in the last 48 hours of how Enoch is so sleepy and non-active compared to Abraham and how we are (admittedly probably in unbelief) waiting for the "shoe to fall" although we had prayed that he would be easier to care for than our first colicky babe. And other conversations involving Angela asking if I thought everything was OK, because Enoch didn't seem to be sucking nearly as vigorously as he had the first couple of days. And how just earlier that day I had finally got a good look at his eyes and one seemed in my head to be slightly crossing and it dawned on me that I don't know if I had prayed at all about his eyesight. Now these things were whorling.
I skim on as they talk on: vomiting, seizures, urine that smells like maple syrup, Ketosis.
Treatment:
protein-free diet
dialysis
health care provider following amino acid levels closely
long term treatment requires special diet : man-made formula, must remain on this diet permanently

Outlook
Even with dietary treatment stressful situations and illness can still cause high levels of amino acids. Death may occur during these episodes. With strict dietary treatment, children have grown into healthy adulthood.
CHILDREN HAVE GROWN INTO ADULTHOOD. My head takes this to mean the exception to the norm.
Complications:
coma
death
neurological damage

I am in a fog for a moment. I am through skimming the article in only a moments time and Angela is still on the phone. However, by this point I no longer am registering what is being said other than another admonition to leave immediately.

The next 15 minutes are a fog or me showering and us leaving. But through the fog we have joined into the battle. The war has been going but a new fray has picked up to a feverish pitch. The battle for our son, and the battling of unbelief in our own hearts and minds.
God is kind and good. His providential care is amazing.
About the only thing I concretely remember from the shower is our current family memory verse. Sweet Providence.
Isaiah 64:4
-"From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him."
So the waiting on God began. The praying. The reading of God's promises. The sweet music of the Gospel .
We mostly stayed off the phone. Dana was alerting the prayer warriors at church. One other phone call that would facilitate others and then a call to the dear friend who prayed with us and helped us think through how the Enemy would be using this to prey upon us. And to think through where he might be attacking us and helped us know how to prayer. This lead to us thinking though and reading though great helpful thirst quenching/ soul strengthening scripture.

We eventually arrived at the hospital and were immediately attended to. They were surprised to see how healthy he looked and how active he was as they worked long at drawing enough blood for all the different tests they needed to run.

Then after much crying our waiting began.
The hours ran long.
Late evening around 2200 the first news came in, and it was refreshing. The test on blood ammonia came back normal.

Then we were given a place upstairs to spend the evening and were told it would not be until the next morning that they would be able to run the tests for the two major tell tale tests. So, we waited. Many doctor visits. One that reminded us of our dear friend Sharon in Australia. And an absolutely wonderful RN that attended Enoch throughout the night.

The night was long and so was the praying. Angela especially had very little sleep as she held our precious little boy almost all night.
In the morning the visits recommenced. Doctor after doctor, all with slightly different takes on what was going on, but all looked hopeful. Then the Geneticist came. Questioning our history, our background all of our families background. Then his pager went off. 1030. An hour before the results were supposed to be in. He walked to the other room and I could tell nothing from an overheard conversation. But the news was like rain in the dry season. All of the tests came back showing no problems!!!!!!
Tears of thankfulness flowed. An offering to a God who gives good gifts, and answers prayer.
Until we see Christ face to face (and maybe then it won't matter) we will probably never know if God was gracious and gave us a completely healthy boy in answer to our prayer, or if he healed our little boy in answer to our prayer. Either way he has dealt kindly with us, and has "...[acted] for those who wait for him."

Sweet Little Son

2010-12-16T00:28:00.000-05:00

God has been so good and so merciful to us.
We'd like you to meet sweet little Enoch Jonathan Liddell Shupe. Born at 3:46 Tuesday morning.

Many more details to come...:)

The Gift of Gifts

2010-12-11T06:37:00.002-05:00

I came across this part of a prayer entitled The Gift of Gifts from The Valley of Vision this morning...

O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
and enlarge my mind;
let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing,
believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father;
place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my Redeemer's face,
and in him account myself delivered from sin;
let me with Simeon clasp the new-born child
to my heart,
embrace him with undying faith,
exulting that he is mine and I am his.

In him thou hast given me so much
that heaven can give no more.

This One's for Lu

2010-12-08T08:26:00.000-05:00

A sneak peek for Uncle Lu at construction on the farm of late. The big barn will never look the same, Lu!

Lookin' good!

Getting Ready for Baby

2010-12-07T16:09:00.002-05:00

My favorite little newborn outfit on Abraham...at 3 years and 1 week:).

Some things never change:).

My favorite guys...I just love to see them snuggle.

Dressing a little boy really has been fun. I especially like having him match Daddy for church:). I look forward to fun, soft little outfits again for this little baby - whether they're tractor or flower-laden we'll soon find out!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Little Lamb!

2010-12-06T16:02:00.001-05:00

Abraham (our favorite little lamb, Aber, Aber-noodle, Ham Sandwich, etc.:)) turned 3 a few weeks ago! We were blessed to celebrate the day with family who love him and had a fun little farmer party.

Daddy and Uncle Aaron gave Abraham some tiling equipment...

And our little lad now has a milk truck to haul "fresh milk" in...

The local farmer clan who stopped by, all in clean farm clothes no less!:)

Mama's insane attempt at a combine cake. Dear Abraham wasn't sure what it was, but was excited that it was a combine after I told him. Perhaps it was the pink color that threw him off? Seriously, I could use a good cake decorating class if anyone's offering, before my family goes into sugar overload from all my frosting patches...:)

Uncle Aaron happily staying warm in his farmer gear:). This guy no longer has Michigan blood - poor guy's always cold!!

Uncle Christoph and Lil Farmer Elianah

The Uncle Paul pile

Phew it's hard to take a picture of 6 little wigglin' farmers...at least Luella smiled for me!!:)
Lil Farmers Mariam, Selah, Abraham / Julia, Luella, Elianah

Uncle David and Julia having some fun

Selah and Mariam in their lil' farmer bibs

Beautiful new barn from Grandpa and Grammy Lang. Thanks for a special day, everyone!

Bradley Method Part 2

2010-11-25T20:11:00.001-05:00

Here are some of the highlights we learned in the class. Half the reason I wrote this post is to help me remember what we learned:), so here we go...
-"The purpose in all this is to have a baby, not seek comfort."
-the stronger the contraction the sooner the baby
-all drugs can cross the placenta
-OB nurses have noted the difference in babies born to unmedicated vs medicated mothers
-babies of unmedicated mothers are often more pink, alert & responsive, scoot themselves up to the breast, cough and sneeze to clear mucus...
-babies of medicated mothers are often duskier in color, less responsive, less interested in breastfeeding, need assistance with clearing mucus...
-animals most often give birth at night
-labor rooms are best dimly illuminated
-animals do not like to be observed in labor
-a distressed armadillo can delay giving birth for over 2 years
-Harvard University determined in 1990 that the median length of pregnancy is 41 weeks and 1 day, not 40 weeks
-the more false labor experienced, the less real labor one will likely have
-pregnant women need 80-100 grams of protein daily
-squatting during labor increases the outlet of the pelvis more than 10%
-walking during labor shortens labor by an average of 28%
-posture, especially during the last trimester can affect the positioning of the baby in womb
-breech babies will sometimes turn by responding to the sound of their daddy's voices low near the abdomen or a flashlight (might not work, but it sure can't hurt!:))
-cervical dilation can actually reverse under stress

That's the end of my thoughts for now. Any childbirth tips and secrets out there you're willing to share??:)

Bradley Method Part 1

2010-11-25T00:40:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: If you are not at all interested in childbirth, you might want to ignore this post...:)

Childbirth is a pretty passionate subject for me. I can talk about it for hours and read about it for hours, even though I've only had one baby and didn't actually push our little one out. Go figure. I love birth stories. Learning from mothers worldwide fascinates me.

Our own birth story of Abraham is pretty emotional for me. When I first met with my OB this pregnancy and tried to share some of it with him, he gently asked me if I was usually a moody person:). An appropriate question considering I was battling tears the whole time talking to him about it. I have a lot of frustrations and regrets from our first birth experience.

We labored in a hospital where the C-section rate at the time was reported to be 50%. We never dreamed we would have a C-section. Talk about naive. This time, not so! :) We may end up with a C-section, but naive we will not be!

Jonathan and I took a crash course in the Bradley Method of childbirth over the last couple months. Normally it is a 12-week course. We were blessed to have an instructor come to our home and do the course in 3 4-hour sessions for us. She was wonderful, traveling 1.5-2 hours one way to come teach us. We do live in the sticks you have to remember. She is the closest instructor we could find, even though there are some fairly large hospitals within 60 miles of us.

What an interesting course it proved to be! The method is based on the practice of Dr. Robert Bradley. He was a physician who challenged the system way back starting in the 1960s and then for the rest of his practice. Some of his "radical" ideas included:

-having the husband present during childbirth
-encouraging mothers not to take medication
-breastfeeding immediately after birth
-walking out of the delivery room after birth
-going home soon after birth
-not knocking mothers out during labor or strapping them down
-encouraging mothers to trust their bodies using natural breathing, relaxation, nutrition, exercise, and education.

As a nurse I know there is a place for medical intervention. But it astounding to me how much that can be overdone. Birthing really is a beautiful, natural process. And I dearly wish our overall medical culture would treat it so. Something is broken in the system when one practice has a 50% C-section rate and a physician such as Dr. Bradley (now deceased) historically had a 96% unmedicated birth rate.

Dr. Bradley first proposed his theory of natural childbirth based on his experience as a farmboy. He grew up watching animals deliver over and over again calmly. What a beautiful process. Animals are designed by our Creator to know when to start making their den, when to go off in the woods alone, and what to do after birth. Truly amazing! I've been so blessed to see a little bit of this having the dry cows at our home.

Most of the cattle give birth on their own. From what I've witnessed usually the Mama cows go into the back corner of the shed when they're close to delivering. A spot as secluded as they can be. Occasionally I'll hear a loud mooo from the shed. Most often I don't hear anything and will suddenly see a wobbly little calf walking around the pasture or yard. I now know that usually the calf has just been pushed out and all is fine, but sometimes the mother is in distress. Occasionally Jonathan or one of the brothers has to go out and pull a calf when the mother needs help.

I'll try to wrap up next time...too late for tonight!:) Thanks for reading!

Seeing/Savoring

2010-10-13T06:00:00.003-04:00

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall
follow me
all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of
the LORD
forever. Psalm 23

Quiet reflections on the King of Glory and our recent time on Isle Royale...

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A wild week

2010-10-11T07:48:00.000-04:00

Insulation guy coming today...

Electrician coming today...

Need to be out of house yet run house and feed family and will there be dust everywhere???...

Hubby harvesting corn, planting wheat, farming in general...

Semi-truck trips to Caro...

Doctor appointment...

Little one with cold...

Baby due in 2 months, 1 day!

Feeling a bit wild as I look at this week to come...time to thank God!:)

for...#447-461

-a week of harvest joys and fatigue

-kicks in the night from our 31 week old growing babe

-church fellowship

-exhortation from God's word

-Sunday drives with family

-food to eat

-clean water

-brotherly kindness

-hours spent in combine

-little one showing us something "really special"

-forgiveness

-black tie mousse cake...oh yum

-broken glass all over grass

-broken glass cleaned up

Click on the banner below to join with others thanking God in the Gratitude Community...

Seeing/Seaing

2010-10-06T06:00:00.003-04:00

The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof,
the world and those who dwell therein,

for he has founded it upon the seas
and established it upon the rivers.

Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?
And who shall stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who does not lift up his soul to what is false
and does not swear deceitfully.

He will receive blessing from the LORD
and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob.
Lift up you heads, O gates!
And be lifted up, O ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

Who is the King of glory?
The LORD, strong and mighty,
the LORD, mighty in battle!

Lift up your heads, O gates!
And lift them up, O ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The LORD of hosts,
he is the King of glory! Selah
Psalms 24

Quiet reflections on the King of Glory and our recent time on Isle Royale...

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Burned Toast, Butterflies, and Babies

2010-08-23T09:53:00.000-04:00

After a month away from blogging, we surely have much to thank God regarding bats, babies, and more:)...

And so we count numbers 418-446 with the gratitude community, because it is good to count all He's done in our lives and recount it to the next generation or any who will hear! Hoping this helps you connect with Him above all and with us a bit, too.

#418-446...
new life planted to celebrate new life coming
heavy peach trees
unhooked pickup
burned toast

glory out our front yard

babies and babies

the pop of sealed jars
little nudges giving reason to can baby food

birthday celebration
39th wedding anniversaries and 40th wedding anniversaries back to back for loving parents

surprise winged beauties on pasture

surprise winged critters outside! screens:)

Daddy's shoulders
forgiveness
little boy loving being with his Daddy
greens

Uncles still farming carpets
rattling in lungs
rattling in lungs cleared

helpers canning peaches
sticky floors
little one learning of death from little butterflies on the road
home fellowship
hurting friend coming home

wonderful visit from Colorado friends
books on cd while snipping beans
gifts of picked green beans
2 year old questions on love and selfishness and meanness
date nights
cyber-friends blessed with two new little ones, sharing their stories of grieving and joy

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Wheat, Mud and Blue Skies

2010-07-26T08:06:00.001-04:00

God blessed our family and farm last week abundantly. The wheat is done, hallelujah, with many miracles to tell...3 inches of rain and combining the next day, rain forecasts graciously ignored by the rainmaker, neighbors offering kind help. What a week. Thank you, God!

And when the dust settles, chaff all blown away, what do our farmers like to do for fun?

They look for dirt, of course; ! Dirt after great fellowship, along with great fellowship. And blue skies and exploring with loved ones.

Thank you, God for all your blessings last week and hope for this week to come. We join with the gratitude community this week and count our blessings below:

400 (wow!) - 417

blue skies
wheat finished
neighbors helping
rain absorbed
hills
bonfires with friends
missions-minded friends
Riding for Missions
spare rooms
church breakfasts and send-offs
open hearts to learn
steak
fresh squash with butter, salt and pepper
my man's welcoming heart
secrets
Kroger
humidity lifted
the help of family

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Ps.54

2010-07-20T10:33:00.001-04:00

O God, save me, by your name, and vindicate me by your might.
O God, hear my prayer; give ear to the words of my mouth.
For "strangers" have risen against me; ruthless men seek my life; they do not set God before themselves.

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.
He will return the evil to my enemies; in your faithfulness put an end to them.

With a freewill offering I will sacrifice to you; I will give thanks to your name, O LORD, for it is good.
For he has delivered me from every trouble, and my eye has looked in triumph on my enemies.

Only Lord, bring and end to their old selves, and grant them sweet communion with you and us, O God, through the slaying of your Son; the only, our only Hope.

Hitting a Swallow

2010-07-19T09:47:00.001-04:00

We've been learning and thinking a lot on thankfulness around here of late. Each night before bed we ask Abraham what he'd like to thank God for about the day. This week he said, " for Mama hitting the swallow on the road." Huh?

Mama replies, "Abraham are you sure you want to thank God for that? Can you think of something happy you'd like to thank God for . . . " My reply doesn't sound right at all and I'm feeling a check in my spirit. Silence. "Wait a minute, Abraham. Mama was wrong. We do need to thank God in all things, in all circumstances . . . for He is in control of everything. His Word tells us to do so . . . Okay, let's thank God that Mama hit the swallow with the car today." Even though I don't want to? Even though I didn't like killing that pretty little swallow? Hmm. This is what you call us to though, Lord. Hmm.

We ponder much lately.

Thanking God for all below and for wheat not yet harvested (oh that's hard), praying that it will not sprout...

381-399

thunder
hitting a swallow
nieces
dark curls under my farmer's hat
beautiful green and yellow beans - undeserved grace in our weedy garden/lives

missions message brought home by brother

blueberries on bush
precious little sentences
wheat taken off

wheat not taken off
3+ inches of rain soaked right in and combining the next day - amazing, God!
hard working man
auction fun
little bunnies
uncles giving tractor rides
hubby bringing home milk
string instruments
gazillion tractor questions

In case you don't believe me;) . . .

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

. . . but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5: 19-21

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Offering of Thanksgiving

2010-07-06T07:39:00.000-04:00

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God! Psalm 50:23

We thank God this week for

351-380

good deals on strawberries
little boy turning heater on in July, to 85...
rich travel

a beautiful country

brothers home at last
salad in summer
connecting with old friends

meeting new friends

lakes, clouds, mountains, foliage

wild husbands and wild friends

big sky
fresh mountain air
fevers gone
sinus infection almost gone
the gift of medicine
God's strength in sickness
weeds in other people's gardens:)
each weed now pulled
breeze
rebates
God's provision
gift of loaned pick-up

World Venture's care for its missionaries
sweaty curls
God loving me through my apathy
Hide the Word
Daddy pushes on swings
floors needing vacuuming
surprises on the wire

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Happy Anniversary, Love

2010-06-23T13:11:00.000-04:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right...

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

For leading us ever on, ever toward Jesus...

For sharing the load, easing my burdens, having strong, hunky ;) shoulders...

For your wild joy in Creation and the Creator and how you capture it and long to remember...

For you, all of you dear love, that makes us love to run after you . . .

Happy nine years, Fufin! I love you!

Snuggle Buddies

2010-06-14T07:00:00.001-04:00

Thank you God for your blessings last week. Thank you for...

338. Little boy curls

339. Summer yummmm

340. Strawberry freezer jam all tucked away

341. Old machinery saving the day

342. Memories of dating years, Benadryl, and studying Spanish together while cutting hay

343. Little boy wanting to hear stories of Daddy and old hay cutter

344. beautiful cattle

345. diversity

346. cattle and hubby on pasture

347. snuggle buddies

348. dirty dishes stacked high meaning much food provided

349. grace and forgiveness of my angry heart

350. gracious lunch invitations

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Simple Thanks

2010-06-07T18:06:00.000-04:00

Thank you God for

326. happy spots along the road

327. friends and pizza

328. the Holy Spirit

329. Daddy giving rides in the green load-all

330. spinach in the garden

331. another sweet medco deal

332. naps

333. dairymen

334. calves just the right size

335. boy-breathed-excitement

336. warm wake-up hair on little boys

337. surprise invitations to Colorado

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Super Savings on Personal Care, Baby Goods, etc.

2010-06-04T10:59:00.001-04:00

~~I don't like posting too much about coupons on our family site, but over here's a little write up if you're interested in a really sweet deal on personal care items...~~

All done for this promotion...hope some of you got it!

A Few Snippets

2010-06-04T06:55:00.000-04:00

Here are a few other snippets from A Chance to Die that I underlined as I read. Hope you enjoy...

If one is preparing to storm the bastions of heathendom, it won't do to blench at creepie-crawlies. (Learned while living in the slums of Belfast.) Another lesson Amy learned was to do at a moment's notice whatever was required. . . -E. Elliot

Photo found here

To be like Christ. To displace self from the inner throne, and to enthrone Him; to make not the slightest compromise with the smallest sin. We aim at nothing less than to walk with God all day long, to abide every hour in Christ and He and His words in us, to love God with all the heart and our neighbor as ourselves. . . . It is possible to cast every care on Him daily, and to be at peace amidst pressure, to see the will of God in everything, to put away all bitterness and clamor and evil speaking, daily and hourly. It is possible by unreserved resort to divine power under divine conditions to become strongest through and through at our weakest point. -A. Carmichael

"All this was part of the going forth unto a land I knew not, and everything was just right, and if things went wrong it was so much the more fun. I knew they would come right in the end. And they always did." So with the charming lightheartedness of faith she only wondered, What next? -E. Elliot

". . .odoriferous radish, sea-weed, sea-ears, sea-slugs, plus pickle, plus rice". . . what He fed she'd swallow. She found when the time came that she didn't really mind anything nearly as much as she had feared she might. The promised grace was always supplied. -E. Elliot

She was finding at firsthand that missionaries are not set apart from the rest of the human race, not purer, nobler, higher. "Wings are an illusive fallacy," she wrote. "Some may possess them, but they are not very visible, and as for me, there isn't the least sign of a feather. Don't imagine that by crossing the sea and landing on a foreign shore and learning a foreign lingo you 'burst the bonds of outer sin and hatch yourself a cherubim.'" -E. Elliot

Seeds need to be watered. Prayer was that water, and Amy prayed. -E. Elliot

Have you read a missions-minded biography you loved? Please share with us and thanks so much for reading and stopping by our little Shire ;) . . .

Amy Carmichael

2010-06-02T08:03:00.001-04:00

A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot

Thirteen years ago I was a freshman at Michigan State University, young and quite shy. I was befriended by some kind girls who attended the same Christian Fellowship I was going to. One of them was a senior from India, a petite, spunky little gal with great enthusiasm for the Lord. I wish I could remember her name, but cannot. At some point in time I learned from her of a book about the life of Amy Carmichael, a British woman who spent most of her life serving others in the name of Christ in India. I loved hearing about missionaries and picked up the book sometime during the year. For close to 13 years that book has been on our bookshelf. I have so often looked at it thinking, "I should read that. I'd really like to read that. Why don't I read that soon? Well, it is long..."

This year I finally started it (isn't that half the battle sometimes?). In part at least because of hearing Amy Carmichael's name so much in our house. I had picked up a little book for Abraham, called Amy Carmichael: Can Brown Eyes Be Made Blue at the homeschooling conference I went to this spring.

He just loves it - what a great little story about how God answers prayer. Highly recommended...it's been read many times here already. (We have a few others by this author too, and really like her books.) Our favorite part is when Amy prays that God would make her brown eyes blue. The next morning when comforting her devastated daughter, Amy's mother tells her sometimes God answers yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait. And that maybe someday she will learn why God answered no. Many years later Amy realized as she cared for Indian babies rescued from Temple prostitution that blue eyes would have been too scary for these displaced Indian children, but Amy's brown eyes fit naturally into the culture and she was able to comfort the children. Isn't that beautiful! She absolutely meant it, too. God orchestrates every little detail of our lives.

Elisabeth Elliot chronicles Amy Carmichael's life in a very simple, objective manner. She's a lovely biographer - although I haven't read too many biographies!

Amy was a spirited little girl from the start growing up in Ireland. By the age of 21 she was deeply involved in encouraging young women in the slums of Belfast. When their numbers grew and she needed a place for them to meet, Amy prayed for a building to be gifted. It was. Throughout the book this happens over and over. Amy was rarely daunted by circumstances. When she prayed about a situation and sensed God's direction, she could not be dissuaded that He would provide.

Eventually God called Amy to the country of India. She spent her next 53 years living in India, sharing Christ's love. "Utter holiness, crystal pure," was her desire. And part of that meant sharing life with others "precisely how things were."

Because missionary reports generally included more about successes than about failures, Amy tried to shift the weight to the other side. 'It is more important that you should know about the reverses than about the successes of the war. We shall have all eternity to celebrate the victories, but we have only the few hours before sunset in which to win them. We are not winning them as we should, because the fact of the reverses is so little realized, and the needed reinforcements are not forthcoming, as they would be if the position were thoroughly understood. . . So we have tried to tell you the truth - the uninteresting, unromantic truth.'

Amy's calling in India was first to evangelism and eventually to mothering. She was burdened for the babies offered to Temple priests and prayed earnestly to be able to rescue them and other children in "moral danger." As God grew the number of children under the care of her and the women of the Band (the others initially involved in evangelism), their roles began to change.

The women of the Band were learning that if the Lord of Glory took a towel and knelt on the floor to wash the dusty feet of His disciples (the job of the lowest slave in an Eastern household), then no work, even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies is demeaning. To offer it up to the Lord of Glory transforms it into a holy task. 'Could it be right,' Amy had asked, 'to turn from so much that might be of profit and become just nursemaids?' The answer was yes. It is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant - he is not greater than his master.

'If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider 'not spiritual work' I can best help others, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interesting and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love,' Amy wrote after many years of such "unspiritual" work.

To be continued...

Colors

2010-05-31T15:50:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite things about Creation is the colors God displays. So this week that will be a starting point of thankfulness...sometimes all it takes is a spark, eh?

Thank you Creator, God, Father, for...

305. purple

306. yellow

307. very near places to throw rocks

308. the word kersplunk

309. beach colors

310. fellowship

311. surprise turtles in the yard

312. green on turtles' backs

313. husbands teaching little ones to bring mamas flowers

314. husband picking me flowers as far back as I remember

315. little one asking to stop to pick two purple flowers for Mama

316. new papas

317. happy baby showers

318. hubby's sunset shots

319. messy floors
320. grace, grace grace upon us
321. biographies
322. baptisms
323. pick-up trailer-trucks with the dodge (little one learning of God's goodness)
324. swish of dishwasher
325. heaping laundry hamper
326. weeds in garden (cringe)
327. mouse droppings (ugh) thrown away (victory!)
325. Veterans, soldiers, courage...

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For the Uncles and Lovers of Tractors

2010-05-28T22:27:00.002-04:00

First-cutting hay all chopped...woohoo! A post to celebrate! Thanks God for keeping our fellas safe all throughout and for a job all done, well done!

And here's a little video in case you want to see the action "live..."

Indwelled

2010-05-24T05:17:00.001-04:00

It was Sunday morning and my mind was a hurricane in the shower. Only 10 minutes and we need to be gone. Leading music is a weighty thing for how can we lead others in worship if we are not worshipers worshiping? Oh to quiet the soul. How can I go from two hours ridding a torrent of epinephrine to waiting on the LORD? How to quiet my soul when it has been a week of running, a week of difficult decisions, a week of many skipped meals, all kinds of meals? I oft find myself at this crossroad. Quiet my soul oh Spirit of the Living God. How to be listening, leading, worshiping on this celebration of the coming of the Holy Spirit. The comforter. Our Rock of Rest in the torrent. He that indwells us and empowers us.
Come Holy Spirit, gather your elect. Empower your people. Be our Hay Baler. Bind us together, make us into something you can use.
So we continue thanking the Risen Christ, God our Father, Spirit of the Living God for a week of many things to be thankful for, some hard some easy on our way to our first One thousand thanks. Thank you Lord for

294. New Life

295. a week of mostly respite from new calves

296. a week of hard decisons

297. the sweet smell of freshly chopped hay

298. sending your Holy Spirit, that we can know you and be indwelled as those of the Old Testament
could only hope for

299. Dedications

300. a wife that braves the tractor ride

301. children that are learning to love the work of their fathers

302. a hay merger

303. an example of quiet watchfulness

304. the making of blisters.

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Introducing...

2010-05-19T08:31:00.000-04:00

Elianah EmmaRuth Shupe

Welcome home, sweet little girl!

Blessed to be adopted by Jonathan's brother Christopher and his wife Angelique yesterday!

Born May 15!

Uncle Jonathan

Grandma helping Mariam, who just couldn't get enough of her sweet new cousin:).

Uncle David

Trying to get a cousin picture...always an adventure;)!

Yellow flies

2010-05-17T06:15:00.006-04:00

We thank you God for this past week, your wonder and faithfulness to your promises. You give hope, joy, signs pointing to your nature and so much more...Yourself.

God we thank you for

279-293

Sweet memories of two years ago

Tons of rain relieving our concerns of drought

A son who remembers "The yellow flies are good for me Daddy, the yellow flies are good for me."

Gifts from friends

The refreshing smell of lilacs

Symbiosis

Lush green pastures

Dairy heifers with their four stomachs that can digest grass

A family that brings joy

Anthem by Conspiracy Among Friends

Brothers who respect each other

Hand work that tires the body

New boots and a wonderful wife who picked them up for me so my feet stay dry

Salvage

Your Word oh God that speaks, cutting deep with rebuke and healing.

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Finding a Tolkien place

2010-05-15T06:14:00.002-04:00

Our family went for a beautiful walk a few nights ago. We stumbled upon a huge patch of these little white flowers - they were beautiful! Any help with what they are?

For a moment we walked in Lothlorien...

Not sure who was more excited - dog or boy;).

Some things die hard!?

2010-05-12T05:16:00.006-04:00

Like the old man.

The same old struggles. The same old sins. Symptoms of a broken angry heart.

The tongue is the tail of the heart...A lashing tongue is the symptom of an angry heart.

Ann Voskamp

HA! Who am I? This is absolutely ridiculous. I should never speak again.
Not that I think Ann's comment is ridiculous. I am.

...for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45

In truth I don't even want to put the first part of that verse on the quote because it is so incriminating. So here it is

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil

The hours run short.
So does my patience.
How does the saying go?- When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Or for me is it rather When the going gets tough, the heart skin gets tough. The calloused heart breaks people. Myself included. Maybe most of all.
Then I am so very thankful for the Cross. For Easter. And that we are the Easter people.

The friend who is as a brother asked something that has my mind whirling these days.

The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it? -Jeremiah 17:9

This is at the core. What do we do with that, those of us with new hearts? Those that are new creations. Because that is what we are.

I wrestle.

Jeremiah 33:29-41 states

I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.

His great work, stated even more emphatically in Ezekial 36:22-32

Therefore say to the house of Isreal, thus says the Lord GOD: It is not for your sake, O house of Isreal, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Lord GOD, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes. I will take you from the nations and gather you from all the countries and bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules...I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses... Then you will remember your evil ways, and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominations. It is not for your sake that I will act, declares the Lord GOD; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways...

And Romans 5

...and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly...but God shows his love for us that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

And on through chapter 6.

Consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

So what? I am dead to sin, never to sin again? I know much better than this. Either that or there is something seriously sick in my heart... Ah, I read on.

THIS BODY OF DEATH.

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...for I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing...
Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

So, this body of death I carry around. This rotting corpse so often spilling metritis on those who dare to come near is sin at work within me.
Thanks be to God that He is my righteousness, and that his Grace abounds much more than the old Adam at work with in me.

So I can read Romans 8 and REJOICE! I GET A NEW BODY! AND THERE IS NOW NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS!

And yet, I am in massive frustration because our newness is both Already and Not Yet. A new heart in the already sealed deal, and a deal that is still being worked out. A heart that is new and a mind that must be set on the things of the Spirit and a Dead corpse that will be made new.

So, again I must throw myself at the mercy of the Saviour. Do your work oh LORD! Thank you that it is already finished! Teach me how much to trust this heart that you have given me.

Purple martins and culverts

2010-05-10T09:39:00.002-04:00

Thank you God, for...

265. Hubby's beautiful pictures and love of Your Creation

266. ice cream

267. garden seeds in (some at least!)

268. little boys and string

269. husband's hard work

270. loving parents

271. warm home

272. pretty ruffles and sweaters on nieces

273. kind neighbors letting us borrow tractor/trailer

274. little one's love of Mr. Jake's tractor

275. cows on the lane

276. healthy bodies

277. little boy saying "Happy Mother's Day!"

278. culverts and water and rocks

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Living Water

2010-05-05T06:00:00.001-04:00

Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17: 7-8

May we trust you today Lord; let us abide in your living water.

The days after a wonderful day

2010-05-03T13:27:00.001-04:00

It is Monday, and I am late.
Weekend of extremes has passed by. Following a week of struggle.
Focus askew? Heart a definite mess.
This weekend we were blessed to be visited by someone who over the while, has taught us the Gospel seemingly afresh.

A reflection of what a thankful heart of humility looks like. A fellow farming family. Bringing an instant bond as we are so few. Those of us raising families as we wrestle with spoken curse on Adam. Those of us struggling to make ends meet as we tend the garden and all of its varied life.

...cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread until you return to the ground... -Genesis 3

The parenting conference focused to help us lead our children, by God's power, to the cross. Our wonderful visitor did just that.
Thankyou.

Sunday morning was a hurricane. Cows don't wait for non-sabbath days to get sick.
Yesterday's sermon, and our friend's post today from Teren, and long conversations have reminded me of grace. What true thankfulness is. And how the Gospel kills anger that leads to sin.

So today we move onward toward our first 1000 Christ-exulting thankyous.

250. That God heals even when we are inept at treating.

251. For multiple gates smashing fingers within moments.

252. For a tongue that is wiped by the heart.

253. Through the mire of mouth overflow we can see we have a sick heart.

254. IV's that repeatedly blow. Christ tearing open callouses letting his light into an infected heart that has a vile ongoing adulterous affair with that adulterous harlot know as self/pride.

255. Employees that struggle with sin the same as me.

256. Employees that are gracious and forgiving.

257. That in the new earth there will be no sin and suffering, no weeds, smashed fingers, milk fever, ketosis, death, or strife.

258. Canadian farm families.

259. Christian Parenting Day

260. a wife who is soooo long suffering

261. rare sites like mating snapping turtles (not pictured above ;) )

262. dandilions

263. A son who likes saving dung beetles from the waterer.

264. Shoddy weekend internet service.

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Moments I Love

2010-05-01T08:04:00.000-04:00

Heading off to Christian Parenting Day soon...what a joy to be a part of a child's life. Moments like these we love so much...

The fool

2010-04-28T06:39:00.002-04:00

O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent?
Who shall dwell on your holy hill?
He who walks blamelessly and does what is right
and speaks truth in his heart;
who does not slander with his tongue
and does no evil to his neighbor,
nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
in whose eyes a vile person is despised,
but who honors those who fear the LORD;
who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
who does not put out his money at interest
and does not take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things shall never be moved.
-Psalm 15

What will we give up to enjoy Christ more deeply.
Who swears to his own hurt and does not change?! Why! We want the better deal! It is our money! Our time! Our _________! We would look weak! I would look weak, I would look the fool... I would be despised.

God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God... Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.

Superior pleasure.
A higher calling.
That Christ may look as he is... precious enough, perfect enough, vast enough, powerful enough, ENOUGH, to hold us in complete awe and worship for endless time.

GOD promises us something far greater than our own looking strong, our own advantage. People calling us clever, daft....
God promises us himself.

He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. Therefore, as it is written, Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.
-1 Corinthians 1:27-31

HELP us, enable us, to walk this road Lord!

Looking back

2010-04-26T06:57:00.001-04:00

Looking back we thank God for

240. Moon revealing the coming dawn

241. A Grazers best friends! (another link)

242. tandems fighting pest flies

243. the joy of watching work

244. involved generations

245. brothers and employees steadfast during long hours worked

246. irrigation

247. even more for RAIN!

248. a sabbath of rest

249. safety near a falling cow

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Tractors

2010-04-24T09:52:00.002-04:00

Uncle David - planting little bits of life in fresh earth...

The good team

Uncle Christopher - preparing the soil, fertilizing tired ground to make ready for fresh growth

Grandpa Shupe - rototilling

Mixing old earth and harvest long past to make a rich home for new seeds

Loved Farmer and Little One

Planting oats together, learning good work early

How's it goin', Daddy? Need your leatherman? Clunk! Here's your phone! Clunk! :)

Watching generations grow - amazing.

A preference

2010-04-21T05:41:00.008-04:00

What do we prefer?
What defines us?
What captivates us?
What must we have?
What is our true treasure?
What must we do?
What do we really love?
Where is our time?

Dear friends have asked us to discuss at length the concept of A Lifestyle of Fasting.
Some time has passed thinking on this.
It is with fear and trepidation that we walk this road asked. I for one feel inept. Not falsely stating. But rather I know many massive weaknesses. Seemingly black cavernous holes waiting for my failing feet. But we will walk knowing

You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
You with your arm redeemed your people...
Your way was through the sea, your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
You led your people like a flock
-Psalm 77

God guides our feet. Let us encourage and be encouraged.

The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
-Matthew 13

At the core this is our understanding of fasting as a life style. It isn't living simply. It isn't being cheap. Being frugal. Rather
KINGDOM.
Driven joy-filled pursuit of the King. Spending ourselves for the sake of the kingdom. Taking up the cross and going outside the gate.

looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame,
-Hebrews 12:2

So we take up our cross and follow him.

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?
-Luke 9

Let us daily repent, pray, seek God, and evaluate how we can best lose our lives, sell them, for the sake of the good news of Jesus Christ!

An Early April

2010-04-19T05:39:00.000-04:00

You are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

So we are thankful for

231. Freshness.

232. Little boy mechanics.

233. The musty smell of cattle on overwintered grass.

234. Milk cows on grass in early April!

235. Talking with "Frenchman" on Skype.

236. Willing and able employees.

237. Pigs and uncles.

238. Snow squalls.

239. Evening walks.

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Live Anywhere Near Michigan?

2010-04-14T21:35:00.011-04:00

Christian Parenting Day

Ann Voskamp - Keynote Speaker

May 1st, 2010

Laker High School

Pigeon, MI

Registration: Free!

As if that isn't exciting enough...there's more free stuff involved!

Check out the cute, spring give-away the site is having! A dear friend of ours put it together.

www.christianparentingday.com

We're a bit excited and hope that many will be encouraged by the words shared at CPD!

Fresh calves

2010-04-14T05:52:00.004-04:00

All things are sacred. All things are done as unto God. For they are for him and help us to know him. This is what we were created for. Caretaker-Worshipers. Sin has caused it to be work. Sin has caused the struggle. Sin has caused our desire to not care. Not worship.
Working animals is a gift. The gift of working the land.

Bottle in hand. New calf in arms.
Not an image of motherly love, but a seeming battle has arisen.
The calf needs colostrum. Quick! The only immune system it has. Passed through the mother's mammaries. Passive transfer. Critical!, or sickness and death will surely stalk the shadows and rear their ugly head.
Bottle in hand. New calf in arms. The battle.
Some take easy to their new caregivers.
Others. Well. They would just as soon tear your clothing, and leave you with scars. They see you as wolf.

Some might wonder why calves are removed.
For their health sake. Large amounts of colostrum are critical early. Many of the mothers care not.

This calf rebelled violently.
Hopeless cause? Probably, the tube would be needed. But patience ruled out. We rested. Calf with nipple in mouth.
And waited...
and waited...
the rebellion was continuous but mostly simply resistive.

...for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.
-Jeremiah 2:13

Time wore on, as did the persuasion. And I couldn't help think this is often the reality of our hearts as people.
God has good in store for us. But we prefer to receive it not from him.
We rail against God. We lay stone faced. We know better. Our way is right.
We are strong. No one needs to bottle feed us. We can find our own life giving food. We for sure will not receive a gift freely given.
Then (unlike this particular moment and feeding) we get a taste of that which is good, He whom brings and is LIFE and we can't get enough. We have caught the flavor of God. And He is the good news. He is the hope we live for. His is that which fills us till we can hardly stand. We long to just rest and
enjoy His presence and follow wherever he leads. Hoping it is to more of Him!

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water....Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
-John 4:10,13,14

Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'"
-John 7:37,38

Dust and Rain

2010-04-12T05:24:00.017-04:00

Dust swirled. It reminded me of our hearts. Dry. Weary. A failing of such promise. A spring with no rain following a winter without snow. Hot holy week. The soil scorched like our hearts. The rivers had no winter melt surge. Sounds like our lives. Sounds like my life. Where is the promise? The failures, the foibles. Call them what they are: SIN. Sin everywhere. Wreaking havoc. Destroying relationships. I feel the crust forming.
The battle with bitterness.
The battle with self-love.
The battle with self-righteousness.
One battle that I find so hard to fight. I feel I fall from bitterness to self-righteousness to self-love to ....

For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate... So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against my members.

This near daily struggle. I have a brother that hates me. I pause to even mention it because I do not trust my heart on this matter. It has been years in the making. Years in the playing out. I tire...
Season pass. I think my heart is healed. Relationship no. Heart yes. Then recently day after day. Waves returned by three fingered "read between the lines". The gut wrenches. Even as I write. A hello returned with in days by being almost driven off the road. Recently these things have escalated. The dust was blowing across the growing bareness of my heart. Bitterness and self-righteousness rearing their ugly heads.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Our great weekend of hope. Christ's victory! The cross!!! The empty grave!!!
The rains started falling...

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

And fell all week. A specific timely encounter and my heart is before my eyes. And Christ's reign is on my heart.

[Walk] according to the Spirit...those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit...To set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace...But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."

So, I run to the Word. Repentance. Romans. The rain falls...soft and long. And I recall...

The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children then heirs-heirs of God, and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
-Romans 7-8

Thank you Lord for...

220. The beauty of chlorophyll.

221. The beauty of chlorophyll and sunshine at work after warm rains.

222. That Christ doesn't leave us to our own devices and efforts.

223. miles and miles of safe, fun travel with my peeps.

224. grace. Without we would have nothing good.

225. predominantly healthy cattle through the calving season so far.

226. fat, lazy, friendly dogs.

227. those who are the front lines giving their lives for the Gospel

228. being able to watch my son grow.

229. the crack of dawn at 6:00am

230. birds praising their maker each dawn.

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Oh Canada!

2010-04-10T19:54:00.000-04:00

Left yesterday for Ontario.

On my left, Farmer Hubby...

On my right, Little Son...

Quite a few challenges were had...and God graciously blessed us with traveling mercy, safety, excellent border crossings, ideas at the right time.

I love this fella. He perseveres and is not afraid of a challenge. Not to mention he drives a mean stick-shift, hauling a mammoth load:)...

A nice quick trip. Favorite memories:
-Ontario folk - what great accents!
-Abraham asking, "Daddy, what'd I hear?"
-Playing our own version of Wildlife Safari (great game!)
-Sweet hubby stopping by Kmart with me, so we could both get double coupons:).
-Driving by many interesting farms in the Golden Horseshoe

Early Morning

2010-04-07T06:55:00.008-04:00

Early morning is upon us again.Sun shines bright not yet on these shores.
Only darkness.
And I feel it again in my soul.
The struggle.
The call of warm sheets and pillow.
But Christ beckens "Come fellowship with me"
My flesh rebels, weary, exhausted.
It reasons-
The days have been very long of late.
And I am in the throws,
What is my treasure?
From where does my strength come?
My Gethsemane...
Christ's words cut to the quick...
"Could you not watch one hour?
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
I need help!
The psalms?
Not today.

The Life Look
"O God,
I bless thee for the happy moment
when I first saw thy law fulfilled in Christ,
wrath appeased, death destroyed, sin forgiven, my soul saved.
Ever since, thou hast been faithful to me;
daily have I proved the power of Jesus' blood,
daily have I known the strength of the Spirit,
my teacher, director, sanctifier.

I want no other rock to build uon than that I have,
desire no other hope than that of gospel truth,
need no other look than that which gazes on the cross.

Forgive me if I have tried to add anything to the one foundation,
if I have unconsciously reiled upon my knowledge,
experience, deeds, and not seen them as filthy rags,
if I have attempted to complete what is perfect in Christ;
May my cry be always, Only Jesus! only Jesus!

In him is freedom from condemnation,
fullness in his righteousness,
eternal vitality in his given life,
indissoluble union in fellowship with him;
In him I have al that I can hold;
enlarge me to take in more.

If I backslide,
let me like Peter weep bitterly and return to him;
If I am tempted, and have no wit,
give me strength enough to rust in him;
If I am weak,
may I faint upon his bosom of eternal love;
If in extremity,
let me feel that he can deliver me;
If driven to the verge of hope and to the pit of despair,
grant me grace to fall into his arms.

O God, hear me, do for me more
than I ask, think, or dream."

from The Valley of Vision

The battle rages on.
But I am not without Christ's help...

Holy week turtles

2010-04-05T06:44:00.001-04:00

209. A non-stop week of whirlwind activity

210. Strength for each new day

211. Leaders who hate the pride they see in themselves

212. Birthdays

213. Fellowship with family

214. Christ's resurrection that we may rise to live with Him for ETERNITY!

215. Seeing unexpected friends at church

216. The wind moving reminding of the power of the Spirit to move the mighty

217. The bloody death of Christ in our place

218. Grass quickening to the call of the sun

219. Turtles

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Clean Barns

2010-04-03T11:35:00.002-04:00

Barns busily scraped clean this week.

Yet manure falls like beautiful, gentle snow...

"The only air nontoxic to humans is grace." Ann Voskamp

"God wants us in communion...not our work." Ann Voskamp

Hearts just can't be made clean, no matter how much we scrape. The odor remains, the stains, the little bits in the air we breathe, pieces behind our crevices we hope no one sees. Who would want these dirty barns?

Jesus.

Hail the perfect Lamb of God
A kingly ransom paid
When You, my Lord, were slain
Love unrivaled here displayed
Calls my heart to praise
The perfect Lamb of God from Perfect Lamb of God

Communion with our Father, knowing His love unrivaled...that's what we long for this Easter. This life. Oh God help us to know your love anew, your love on the cross. Jesus, we want you.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. -Psalm 16:11

I've been thinking a lot this week on words from a speaker I heard last weekend at a Homeschool Educators Conference in Ontario. So deeply encouraging and challenging. Many of the thoughts above are reflections from truth learned last weekend.

Passover

2010-03-31T15:13:00.001-04:00

Tell all the congregation of Israel that on the tenth day of this month every man shall take a lamb according to their fathers' houses, a lamb for a household...

Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male a year old... You may take it from the sheep or from the goats, and you shall keep it until the fourteenth day of this month, when the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill their lambs at twilight. “Then they shall take some of the blood and put it on the two doorposts and the lintel of the houses in which they eat it...

For I will pass through the land of Egypt that night, and I will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and on all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments: I am the Lord. The blood shall be a sign for you, on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you..." from Exodus 12

Not an Israelite by race, not good, not perfect...yet God lets me join those passed over. And not by the blood of a bleating, little lamb, but by the blood of His Son. His firstborn. The lamb of God. I struggle to think on the little lambs struggling. Yet, what did our Savior feel. Would knowing the outcome make the pain easier? The hurt would still be there. The nerves still intact. Blood still flowing real.

Passover has been on my heart this spring. The dark, the stillness, the passing over of those covered by the blood of lambs, the weeping of those with firstborn slain. Just a bit of my thoughts this sober week as I try to remember, try to connect with Him, try to truly say thank you, Jesus.

Humble thanks to Aunt Sharon and Mom Shupe for teaching me the art of cake decorating. May we think on the lamb who was slain this week.

Thessalonian Mondays

2010-03-29T05:59:00.006-04:00

As March closes we have experienced rain. It is good, in our hearts and for the land. It has been a good month yet strange.

Oh, the depth of the riches and the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
"For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?"
"Or who has given a gift to him tha he might be repaid?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen

So, we love and thankyou Lord!

195. That by his wounds we are healed!

196. For repentant hearts.

197. Rain, even the smallest amounts.

198. Weekends full of grace triumphant.

199. Andrew Peterson's "Behold the Lamb of God"
200. Sunny warm days long running in March

201. Turning of grass green.

202. The fully trustworthiness of the Word of God

203. Calves, Calves, Everywhere!

204. Healthy cows and Calves.
205. Sound advice from really good cowmen.

206. Brothers who want to live in a Christlike manner.
207. A family of believers to live with and have gathered around to hold us up in Christ.
208. Hard choices that cause us to fly to the cross and linger.....

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For what?

2010-03-24T05:57:00.027-04:00

The amassing of wealth. Building security. Creating comfort. Getting a name. Glory for one's self. Getting a good return. Living in comfort. Creating the world we always wanted. Spending one's self on behalf of the King. Creating Jobs. Using the talents we have been given to get a good return.

What is our ambition? With what are we wrapped? What do we want in this short life? What to consume our years?

Questions swirl. Frustrations ebb and flow. Those lead to a breaking point and once again we are at the cross. From where does our hope come from.

For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.
Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever, Amen.
...Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect...
I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think... For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ... Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us...
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
Romans 11

At the cross we are equal. All desperate. All dead in our transgressions.
Because of the new life in Christ we are all equal. All with gifts.
Why do hands and feet and heads and ears squabble? Why do we strive to exalt ourselves as if we needed no other and were made for no other.
Forgive us Lord. Forgive me Lord.
By grace Lord make our love genuine.
Teach us to hate evil with the same hatred you have for it.
Teach us to outdo each other in honor.
Living in harmony with one another.

Be constant in prayer.

Teach us to pursue a holy ambition. Spurring each other on in good works to you. Spending ourselves for the King and his Kingdom. There will be our greatest Joy: Jesus our Risen Saviour!
Only you!

All only for your Glory!

Soap, Bird Songs & Good Work

2010-03-22T07:08:00.001-04:00

178. children learning work is good

179. fellowship on a cold spring day

180. learning a bit of soap-making

181. seeing others use their gifts for God's glory

182. connecting again with former co-workers

183. Michigan sunsets

184. clear view west from our home to see the colors God chooses each evening

185. giggling cousins

186. beautiful coos

187. simple beauty

188. husband's hard work, day after day

189. little ones exploring with their Uncle/Daddy

190. visitors to help fill our home

191. rich conversation with new friends

192. sleepy boy carrying teddy bears

193. boy asking for more big brown stuff in his ice cream

194. chocolate chunks in ice cream:)

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Glory

2010-03-20T07:17:00.000-04:00

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.

There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.

In them he has set a tent for the sun,
which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy. Psalm 19:1-5

New Life

2010-03-17T05:38:00.006-04:00

The celebration of new life is coming.

"We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ being raised from the dead will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him, For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God."

However, first...

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."

Today was full.
Frustrated/futility , groaning/anger, new birth.
Lunch came late. What was almost ready was soon to wait.
Two feet for too long. Only two feet, nothing more.
And so the need to explore this dilemma. Two feet for too long. Only two feet, nothing more is not good.
New life comes "easy" to the heifer bred with Jersey.
Only two feet, nothing more should not be.
An anomaly.
Frustration.
Antithesis!
The calving gear gathered. Chains on dainty legs.
Calf gone backward? Head Back? Leg down? My thoughts whorl.
The heifer lays there waiting, pushing, straining. Pains of childbirth, but new life has not come.
Hours have passed, but now help has come, hope has come. Seemingly.
The heifer has had enough of this help. She moves on, on, and on. Help tries, but only ends up groaning, angry, wrath quickly rising.

"But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness."

God is! Today I fail at imitating.
More help comes. The one who knows what it is to be in the throws of childbirth. The one who understands. The one quick to speak peace to a mother in distress. My anger persists as my phone disseminates, and I become covered in what is now spewing out of my mouth.

Then the one who knows being a mother prevails. The unbound is bounded and he who is all too familiar with a desperate need for grace gets to the work of birthing.
The answer. A head back. Dainty as are the legs.
Tired arms push legs back in. The mother groans like none yet heard from her. She can not understand. Only one thought, one object. EXPEL THE CALF!
Yet as Christ knows the painful work that needs to be done,

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

so he with tired arms knows the only way out is by going back in. This calf will only come through his work. The harder she tries on her own the worse her situation will be. As with us we must rely on His wisdom, His ways, His work, not our own.
Soon the legs are back in. A tired arm finds a head and wrestles it in to place. It must come with the feet.
Now the real pushing can be done. Now the work of redemption. Now comes new life by him of aching body.

" But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." -Isaiah 53:5

Click below for more thoughts on new life as we prepare to celebrate Easter...

Missions, Mud and Asphalt

2010-03-15T08:22:00.002-04:00

169. "Missionary work is a grain of sand, the work untouched is a pyramid.... Face it. Look and listen, alone with God. Then go, let go, help go. But never, never, never think that anything short of this is being 'interested in missions.' Never, until this point is reached and passed, delude yourself into believing that you care at all." -Amy Carmichael

Angela's reading has been most encouraging, challenging, and eye opening.

170. Spring mud.

171. Jeeps in the mud.

172. Asphalt so that our whole driveway isn't slop.

173. Encouragement that gifted books are sometimes poured over.

174. New life... lots of new life.

175. The Word of God, that we need to hang on people's teaching to know it.

176. The excitement of more new life coming......

177. Strength for the day that follows the night that is purposed to be short.

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